Neurodivergence
The term neurodivergence attempts to destigmatize being different neurologically. Formerly, society treated those whose brains functioned differently from what was thought to be normal as suffering from an illness. However, being neurodivergent can come with some benefits. Today, we know that brains process and learn information differently.
And the more I learn about neurodivergence, the more I see that there is no normal. Have you ever sat back and observed people, like in a naturalistic observation, paying special attention to people’s mental states? I have. Maybe that’s weird. But when I do, I get the sense that we’re all at least a little kooky. Maybe it’s just me, but I notice a lot of irrational or strange behavior: people drinking or smoking to excess, people preoccupied with what others think of them, people aggressively arguing over nothing important, people crossing the street when and where it isn’t safe, people driving like lunatics, etc. It’s easy to judge from the outside, I know. It can insulate one from criticism: “These mofos crazy!” I think, though, we’re all like this, to some degree. That’s partly why this type of behavior can be seen everywhere. And if it’s that common, then it shouldn’t be so stigmatized. Understanding that we all are good at some things and bad at others, also helps. And if what we’re learning from neurodivergence is true, then often there are some benefits to being different. For example, those with ADHD can hyperfocus on certain topics they find interesting; those with Asperger’s are unlikely to lie or steal, and they tend to have a good work ethic; and those with NVLD tend to have a good vocabulary and strong factual recall.
On Being Neurodivergent
Several years ago, I was diagnosed as suffering from depression. I am currently in a much better place, and it took some serious effort; what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, I can attest. But that was a brutal time for me. We often view people suffering from depression as being somewhat delusional, not having a realistic view of what is happening to them. We tell them things like, “It’s going to be alright.” To be blunt, that’s sometimes bullshit. Depression happens sometimes because fucked up shit happens to people, and they find it hard to cope. Maybe they don’t have the resources available. Honestly, sometimes they’re right; sometimes, there are moments in life where things are, more or less, hopeless, in the literal sense. If someone is suffering from a terminal illness, say, they may be right in saying that they will die and there will be no cure. To use an extreme example, Jews during the Holocaust might have rightfully assumed that they would be murdered in those camps. That doesn’t make them crazy because they find it hard to cope with that probable end. We often don’t know people’s stories; we shouldn’t assume. And even those who tell their stories may not tell us everything. One interesting fact I learned is that people suffering from depression can actually have a better sense of reality than those who are not also suffering.
Currently, I suspect that I have Asperger’s, maybe dyslexia, and maybe, to a limited extent, some form of Tourette’s. In the words of Dre, “and that’s just being real wit’ you”; it’s important to be vulnerable. I’d thought that I was just different, awkward socially, introspective. But the problems have persisted all my life. Understanding the nature of being neurodivergent would’ve made me feel less self-conscious, less afraid to talk about it. Being so would’ve done less damage to my self-esteem and emotional well-being. Instead, it’s only been deep into my 30s that I have realized these things. Having these conditions doesn’t make me feel any less of a person. They are largely mild and, I suspect, others have conditions that they don’t even acknowledge. What neurodiveristy has taught me is to be open about it and to not let others, or even my own thoughts, change the way I see myself.
Creating a Better World
However, it’s hard to be honest about our vulnerabilities when others aren’t, when others are instead willing to criticize or try to make others feel bad for being different. Internet culture is notorious for this. The Internet is a place where bullying happens regularly - yes, because it’s easy, but also because it’s scary to be wrong, or different, in front of others. It seems to me we hurt each other when we act selfishly, when we protect ourselves out of fear. It reminds me of basic survival, of someone leaving their friend behind to be devoured by a charging lion, to save their own hide. On the Internet, it’s too easy to point out when others are wrong, to see their flaws. Behind the keyboard, it’s easy to be a warrior. It’s much harder to be vulnerable.
We all make mistakes. As Seneca said, “Errare humanum est.” We create a better world by going out of our way to describe and discuss our faults. That’s how we destigmatize being neurodivergent, being different. Too many have been teased, harassed, and bullied because of it. I was, by other kids and by public school teachers. It hurt. It probably held me back. But the more we try to protect ourselves out of fear, the more we leave those who can’t or won’t vulnerable.
In the end, what matters, to be happy and healthy emotionally, if you ask me, is gratitude and perspective. I am grateful that I am highly functional. I know I am a worthy, smart, and caring being. Yet I fuck up. We all do. But I will not be shy about telling you I do.